I Thought You'd Understand
by Rae Logan
Summary: I have a strange way of expressing it, I know, but you seem to overlook that we are more alike than you think...


I thought you, of all people, would understand.

I know it must be infuriating to see such likenesses between us, and yet at the same time, such contrast. It doesn't help that I've taken your form and twisted it's appearance, because, honestly, I have none of my own.

Maybe I wasn't too clear on my intentions... but really, I don't mean to turn on you, should you take my offer.

Of all the disgusting and vile creatures that selfishly destroy this world through their thoughtless actions, you are the only one that stirs up even the faintest spark of pity with me.

I have a strange way of expressing it, I know, but you seem to overlook that we are more alike than you think.

We both are results of the Human's desire to play God and cheat death, though I'm more of an accident while you were intended. Didn't you know..? The Solaris Project was started to bring back that girl's mother from the dead... I was going to be part of that, but something went wrong... So horribly wrong...

We were both blamed for a disaster neither of us had a hand in causing, and were hunted down for that reason, to be imprisoned from the world and labeled as monsters before we even knew what those were. Yes, you were the one who did that to me, but, ah... time travel... Huh... What are you going to do..?

Both of us were left to our own confused and shaken minds for years that felt like an eternity, our perception of the world around us warping into this horrid thought that we must do what is "right" by clearing the planet to start life anew with a more responsible species to protect it. With no one to tell us the thought was wrong until years later, we had convinced ourselves that we must be the only sane ones on the planet, because no one else would agree with us...

I'm actually younger than Iblis... Not significantly, but I guess in that sense, you can say we both have predecessors that are massive orange beasts that can hardly get a single syllable out... Where is he, now, anyway..?

It seems like even some of your traits have rubbed off on me... That short temper... The singleminded determination for a simple goal... The pompous attitude and superiority complex... The persistence in not ever backing down from a challenge... The fearlessness...

Again, I have no form of my own. As a living shadow, I am reclusive and spineless by nature. Do you remember when I was first trapped by you..? How I tried to run? How I pleaded for you to go away and leave me alone? How I begged for you to not seal me away? That was the real me... I was scared, and I was simply trying to get away and hide because I didn't like the first thing I ever saw: all those people responsible for creating me... Dead and dying because I was created...

It was all a big misunderstanding. I see that now. My being trapped in the Scepter was just as much my own fault as it was yours, as well. Maybe I should have just let it go... Then the events would never have to happen again... And maybe I'd never be trapped, and maybe I'd try a different path...

Taking your shade and taking your form years later allowed me to become something I would never, ever get to be... You...

... Wow... Look at you... You're so bright and golden like Solaris himself... Am I seeing things, now..? I could have sworn your fur was coal black, like the darkness that had spread inside me during those ten long years... Now, you're almost gold like your Rings on your wrists...

I can't see it... But am I green with envy, then..? You look so powerful, so awesome... It's like you're made of light, now. A shadow made of light..? It's almost poetically ironic... Or maybe not... I don't know anymore... I wish I could think more clearly... And maybe see better...

It could have been just anyone... It wasn't personal... Heck, I could have done it any other way other than just killing that hedgehog, I guess... If I had thought it out better...

Do I get points for making it as quick and painless as possible..? I made sure he was dead before he hit the ground... He hardly felt a thing, or knew what had happened... Did you see him afterwards..? Not a single mar, nor cut, nor a spot of blood to be found... I merely stopped all his functions simultaneously... Two seconds of surprise, and it was all over...

... I don't really fancy the idea of prolonging the suffering of death, myself... Those poor people who caused me to exist, the ones who didn't die immediately... That girl's father included among them... Lingering in such a painful state for almost half an hour... It horrified me, and that was why I ran away at the time...

That hedgehog... He was the only one I ever really intentionally killed... It was only to make the girl cry, to free Iblis... It just felt so wrong to me to be wandering around so freely as I have been the last two days, while he was trapped... And that girl... She was never allowed to feel certain emotions before because of that predicament... It was a multi-beneficial plan...

You brought him back to life, though, didn't you..? So... I guess I'm not a murderer after all... Because the one I killed is still alive... What a strange turn of events...

... I can't feel my fingers... Are my gloves on too tight..? When did I get back into this form..? No, it's not my gloves... My fingers are just going numb...

... Hey... Before it spreads to my whole arm... A favor, please..? Hold your hand up, like mine... No, the other one... Don't be all nervous and awkward... Wiggle your fingers like I'm trying to... Try to follow what I'm doing... What..? Why..? I just wanted to pretend I was staring at a reflection right now...

... You're really not too bad of a person to be around...

... Your gold fur is getting darker... Is it my vision doing that..? You're still glowing, so I must be going blind...

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...

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... I'm a little afraid now... I don't want to be surrounded by darkness again... And I know I'll be alone, just like before...

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... I thought you'd understand...


End file.
